Have you seen the videos of girls asking their boyfriend what the difference between, “Sorry, I have a girlfriend,” and “No, I have a girlfriend,”? Some of the boys say, “Nothing, they’re the same,” and the girlfriends reply, “OH MY GOSH YOU CHEATER.”

If you’re not aware, the difference is the use of the word “sorry” and what that implies. Saying, “Sorry, I have a girlfriend,” says that if only they were single, then they would go on that date, but their girlfriend is dragging them down.

So the girls are always looking for the firm “No, I have a girlfriend,” answer because they want to be confident in their boyfriend, knowing that if some other girl were to try and get with their boyfriend, he would immediately shut the other girl down.

However, this kind of relationship displays a toxic behavior in today’s dating culture. Some people are actively looking for a way to trap or outwit their partner—whether it’s because Person One has trust issues or bad experience in previous relationship or because it’s just the idea of fun and the relationship isn’t something worth saving.

I don’t blame the girls who want complete trust in their boyfriends—however, if this is the way they’re looking for that trust, they are doing it wrong, and at the wrong time.

To start off, if you go into a relationship where you feel as if you have to trick your significant other into revealing their faulty loyalty, then what is the point? We should not be entering these relationships without knowing if they are trustworthy. If we know they’re not trustworthy, we should not date them.

Well, tell yourself that when you’re seriously concerned about him cheating after several years of marriage, honey.

The habits that you bring into your dating will be brought into your marriage.

They have a long-term effect, which is why it’s so important to date someone with fruitful habits and to make sure your relationship has fruitful habits.

‘In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.’

1 Timothy 3:11-13 NIV

These verses set the example of how women and men should treat each other. Verses eleven is so important, especially in today’s culture because we live in a world that glorifies gossiping malicious talk—slandering each people behind each others’ backs.

What guy will want to risk a relationship with a girl who gossips at the cost of her maybe gossiping behind his back?

And what girl would want to commit herself to a guy who doesn’t commit to her, and instead is unfaithful?

These are common traits that the world says is ‘okay’ when really it is unbiblical and cruel. Toying with one’s emotions might seem like a fun game, but let’s see how you feel when it comes around to you.

We live in a world that is hyper-fixated on revenge and public humiliation—who gets to be caught in this month’s scandal? Even if it’s in a small group of people, we revel in the knowledge that someone is going to ruin their life and others’ with their choices.

When we go into relationships (both platonic and romantic) with the mindset of, “They’re going to betray me,” we are already and unintentionally betraying the trust in the relationship. Relationships of any kind require trust. What kind of foundation is it built on if there is no trust?

Maybe you’re getting something good out of the relationship—money, sex, clout, connections to more popular people?

Maybe you’re looking for manipulation and drama—a new fun story to tell your friends or just another anecdote to add to your collection?

Maybe you’re hopeful for just a casual, fun time—a summer fling, maybe with some aesthetic Insta-worthy pics and then when school starts up, you just end it without feelings of attachment.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a fun time with relationships, but if you’re going into it with that mindset of “I’m only interested in getting something,” then you’re missing the point.

Relationships are about giving. By providing your time, your effort, your respect, your love, a chance for trust, a place to stay, and a new perspective, you are not only showing them that you care but you are also giving them a chance to reciprocate that (because they should).

In closing, we can learn so much from our friendships and the relationships in our family and bring those healthy habits into our dating lives. But the real example for all relationships comes from Jesus and His time on earth. We see Him treat men and women with kindness, the healed and the diseased with compassion, the wealthy and the poor with accountability and conviction, and the single and married with equality.

He defied today’s and back then’s culturistic expectations and motives, all while reshaping how we are really called to treat others.

Thanks for reading, have a great day!
~Willow