I have a coworker who we’ll call Jameson. Now, Jameson is likely on the Spectrum or neurodivergent, and you know what, that’s cool. He’s super nice, he’s a really really hard worker, and he puts an effort into what he does.

However, despite the effort, there’s a lot of mistakes made and things that go wrong when he’s left to do various assignments. As he’s a bit socially awkward, he often confuses customers. And that’s okay, right? There’s always room for growth.

But some of my other coworkers have…opinions on this kid. They call him stupid and say he’s the worst worker here, and call him other things that should not be said about anybody—especially if it’s something they can’t help like autism or neurodivergence.

And the part that gets me is the fact that it is clear Jameson’s mind isn’t like most peoples’—and again, that’s cool! There’s no better or worse. But the fact that they all know this yet don’t provide any room for grace is what confuses me.

And it makes me wonder:

What is their limit for handing out grace?

In this situation, grace is clearly not given, despite their knowledge of his differences and social struggles. But it also goes to show: without the right teachings, grace is not handed out easily or in the right places.

Some people might have a parent who abused them as a child—after several years of therapy and counseling and growth, the parent has returned in a prodigal-son-like state, knowing they did wrong and ready to reap the worthy benefits of their actions. But their child, Lord willing, has grown up and learned why they were abused. There will be a time for grace and forgiveness, and maybe that eventually means a reentry into one another’s life.

Others might have experienced the loss of a family member—maybe in a car accident where the other driver was at fault. That driver might come up and say, “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault, and I understand if you hate me because you have every right to.” The one who experienced the loss is given the chance to forgive them. It might not mean forming a relationship, but saying, “I forgive you. I’m still deeply hurt, but I’m giving you the chance to stop this from happening again.”

When Jesus died on the cross, by grace we are given the chance to try again so that we can live to glorify God and serve and love others fully.

We are given the grace to extend grace.

And when we are given that blessing and gift, it means that we can extend grace to others when it comes to the little things—such as a coworker making mistakes.

Of course, the practice of grace is often most challenged when, like I mentioned just earlier, there has been a loss or a deep wound inflicted.

And with that kind of wound, there comes the need for time. Maybe it’s a couple weeks before you can civilly speak with that person again, maybe it’s years. Either way, during that time you can learn and practice giving grace.

During that time, prayer is required. That’s right—it’s not optional. If you cannot pray about it with the mindset of healing for both parties, then you will not be able to give grace freely.

Constant communication with the Lord is a must. He gave us grace first—after we did and continue to do things against His will, both knowingly and unknowingly. And when we come to understand how great of a gift that is, then we can better understand how to give that gift more easily than before.

But grace is not something that’s supposed to be an easy handout—it should be hard! Why?

Grace is not human nature.

And that just shows once again that when we come to Christ and accept the freedom and goodness He’s given to us, we start to desire to love, live, and give like He did.

If grace is an easy handout for you—if you can do it in an instant, and say, “Yeah, it’s fine,”—then that is likely not grace rooted in godly love. It’s laziness.

Grace makes you want to give and assure.

We can read in the parable about the prodigal son that when the son came home, the father is overjoyed at the chance for healing and redemption for his son. Not revenge, but redemption.

But the father said to his servants, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” So they began to celebrate.
Luke 15:22-24 NIV

Grace makes us want to assure them they are forgiven, know they are loved, and know they are safe to return.

A couple days ago I was at work and another coworker had said something pretty harsh to me about me—he likely didn’t think it through and in his mind, it probably had a lot less meaning than it did to me. But the last five hours of my shift were miserable. I just felt as if I’d been shamed and not in a healthy corrected way.

Throughout the shift, I was waiting for his apology all while knowing: I am not going to be getting it.

By the end of the night, I myself had apologized to someone for an unkind comment I’d made. With bitterness, I kept thinking, “Why hasn’t he done the same thing for me?”

It’s imply because that is not the world he lives in, likely not the kind of thing he was taught, and not the awareness he was given.

And as I got in my car, I found myself no longer resenting him and instead I prayed for him and for myself.

The attitude I wanted to bear was not one laziness or giving up, but rather one of forgiveness and grace. And the prayer posture I wanted to have was not one of vengeance or selfishness but compassion. For several hours he had been my enemy and I prayed for the wrong thing in those hours of my shift—“God, fix him. Make him recognize what he did. Show him his wrongdoing.”

No—instead, I should have originally been praying, “God, he’s been uptight today, there’s been a lot of pressure at work, give him peace and rest.”

We pray for our enemies because they don’t know what we know—the Lord.

There is a time and a place for grace—but grace does not mean a mindset of indifference.

When indifference says, “It’s fine, whatever,” grace says, “I forgive you because I know there’s more to the story.”

When indifference shrugs a shoulder and moves on, grace tends to the person and the situation with the intentions of healing.

When indifference loses accountability, grace remembers to make an effort—maybe to heal the relationship, maybe to be the reminder of one’s worth, maybe to be the one to say, “There’s room for growth, but you’ve got the time and I’ve got the patience.”

With my two contrasting communities (look at that alliteration!), youth group and my work, it’s interesting to see the limit given for grace in each one. I’m sure you can imagine which one has a more gracious limit for handing out grace than the other does.

At my church, grace is a frequent visitor. When someone screws up, as some might say, there is grace and the chance to start again, but there’s also accountability: it’s not to say, “This can never happen again or else you have to leave,” but rather, “We’re going to help you grow so that this isn’t a frequent issue.”

But like I mentioned in the first story about my workplace, we can see that grace isn’t dealt out as easily or kindly.

I’m still learning how to give out grace, but I have so many great people to look up—today and in the Bible—who are amazing examples of grace-givers.

‘But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
James 4:6 NIV

Humility comes with giving grace—it might not mean admitting, “I’m wrong,” in most cases but it does mean letting someone else be given their chance to try again, rather than taking over or being prideful and saying an outright, “No.”

Without the grace of God, we would not be given the chance to give grace to those around us. And because of the grace of God, we are supposed to give grace to those around us.

How can you show grace to the people around you today?

Thanks for reading, I hope you all have a great day!
~Willow