On February 21st of 2025—almost a year ago—I made a post titled Four Big Challenges in response to this same prompt. (Apparently WordPress is going back through them.)

At the time of the first post, my challenges were passing my drivers ed test (funny story about that which I’ll tell you in a minute), moving across the country, settling into our new home, and meeting new people.

I can officially tell you that all of those challenges have been accomplished. I have my license and my own car, I didn’t get stuck in the middle-of-nowhere Texas, I’ve made my room the way I like it, and I’ve made new friends.

As of right now, I don’t have a single specific challenge that happens between now and August, but there’s definitely going to be some small challenges in between. The biggest challenge is probably figuring out what I need to do before my senior year.

Every day I swear someone asks me what I’m going to do after high school, and while I do know that I need to be thinking about that, I also know that…I have no idea.

I can’t remember if I’ve shared this before or not, but my youth pastor in Washington had offered me an internship in the summer of my senior year. He was aware that I was moving when he asked this originally, but kept bringing up, kept telling me, “Pray about it, and we can make it happen,” kept asking how I felt about it.

Every single time, I was ecstatic at the thought of flying out to Washington for a couple months to learn from him, serve at my church, and learn the important roles of being in ministry.

I had left it in God’s hands and said, “If it’s Your will, please make this possible.” And while I had said those words—if it’s Your will—I truly believed that He was going to make it possible because after all—it aligned to work out for His glory, right?

In the past few months, there’s been some struggles at my old church revolving around my pastor and his health. I won’t share the details for my church and pastor’s privacy, but in summary, things weren’t looking good.

And then, a couple of weeks ago I found out that my pastor had resigned. At first I was really sad because he was the last person who would want this. The church didn’t want this—but it had to happen because forcing that role on him wouldn’t be healthy for him or his family or the youth group as a whole. I was sad for the teens who lost a great role model and father-figure.

The internship was the last thing on my mind, but then the next day I remembered his words and advice: pray about it, and we can make it happen.

Suddenly I wasn’t just sad, now I was angry—and not at my pastor, because I knew it wasn’t something he could control, but rather I was angry at God. It was in His will, it was for His glory, and not only that, but it was the one, singular thing I was certain about and excited about after high school.

I’ve been told, “Oh but your new church offers internships. You’ve got other chances to intern or to do work in the mission field or to learn from pastors and mentors.”

And while I do know that, I’m still stuck in a place of confusion and hurt and anger. The past month has been a very long-seeming season of fervent prayer.

But although I am feeling a lot of negative emotions, I’m also discovering the amount of trust I’m still putting in God, even after this big letdown. I haven’t abandoned Him or said, “Never mind, I won’t try to work for Your glory, because when I did, You let me down.”

I’ve tried to shift my mindset so that I can appreciate the way God is saying no:

If I went back for two or three months, I’d have to say goodbye after making a very temporary adjustment and home.

I’d have to get used to my friends all having new inside jokes and memories that I wasn’t a part of.

I wouldn’t be there to hangout or have a casual summer, but rather to learn from my elders from a place of humility and learning to be corrected—not that being corrected is bad, but my priorities would need to shift from friends to the real reason I was there and that might be really hard for me at the stage of life I’d be in at that point.

I’d see people I moved on from, just to go back and possibly undo that progress and unravel the better state of mind.

While an internship in Washington would have been one of the biggest blessings I can imagine right now, and while it would have been a firm plan for after high school, and while it would have been an amazing learning experience, there were flaws in the plan. Flaws that I couldn’t see when I was caught up in the high of anticipation.

Although I’m not new to navigating big changes in plans, I’m still learning how to navigate them in a way that glorifies God while putting full trust in Him. I’m not an anxious person by default—but the anxiety is real and I’ve never really felt it like this before.

But at the same time, I’ve never been this close to God or felt this much joy before. Even on the days when anxiety is taking over my thoughts, I still feel peace and comfort because of what I am sure of: everything will work out in the end, my value is placed in the one Who created me, and I have options and choices for what my life will look like after high school.

Thanks for reading, I hope you guys found this post enjoyable and maybe even encouraging!
~Willow

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:25-27, 34 NIV