What is modesty? According to Merriam-Webster, modesty is ‘propriety (appropriateness) in dress, speech, or conduct.’

But really, in this day and age, modesty is subjective in the eye of the beholder.

For example: what might be modest for me, might not be modest for you. Let me go deeper into this by saying this: just because you might dress more or less modestly than me does not mean that you are less or more than I am.

Recently I saw this post and on it, people were discussing what their definitions of modest were. They had all come to agreement that a) shorts above the knees on girls were not appropriate, b) girls wearing tank tops was not appropriate, and c) past-the-knee-length (when sitting) dresses or skirts—above the knee is too short.

Now, I’m going to be clear here: I have nothing against modesty! I wholeheartedly agree with what these people were trying to say and I think that modesty is fantastic.

However, first, I think that these things are a bit much. Some people grew up in a stricter household or in a country where women must dress modestly in order to keep their social status, so that’s fair. And some people have different comfort levels which is cool too!

But in reference to Christianity, I think that modesty has become such a big part of the Proverbs 31 woman trend that we totally throw away all the other traits that the Proverbs 31 woman has! What about spending time with God? Loving her children and husband? What about being resourceful? These are all beautiful traits, qualities, and habits that anyone should be blessed to have!

Now, like I said, modesty is not bad. I support it! But we (Christians) have become so obsessed with the idea of modesty that it seems if you’re not dressed modestly, you’re not a ‘real Christian.’

But immodesty does not eliminate you as a Christian.

However, if you’re dressing lewdly every day and claiming to be following Christ, that does follow a worldly lifestyle and it shows that you are trying to appeal to the approval of humans. It tells other people that you aren’t willing to leave behind your old ways in order to follow Him fully.

Now one thing we don’t think about often is this: modesty is also an inward quality.

When dressing your outward self, you must also remember to dress your inward self—what’s the point of trying to be modest outside if the inside is full of impure thoughts and a prideful attitude? Jesus says in Matthew 23: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27 NIV)

So when we think of modesty being just outwardly and don’t pay attention to the inside heart (1 Samuel 16:7), then we are being pretty hypocritical and these qualities are very important as a Christian.

So what does it look like to be modest inwardly?

Being humble, focusing not on yourself but on others, and making sure that your qualities are not to impress others is all very important. These are big qualities of an inwardly humble person. When someone brings attention to themselves and never ever asks how someone else is doing or asks about that person’s day, that’s not humble. It’s prideful and arrogant—and also just plain annoying, right? We’ve all known that person: the one who has lots of friends but who isn’t actually a friend to those people.

I’ve known a handful of people like this: they constantly tell me their problems and when I try to speak up, sharing some advice, they cut me off and continue to talk about themselves. And I get that they need to rant, I often do too! But they are the people who have lots of friends but aren’t much of a friend to anyone else.

So this is not inwardly humble—it’s selfish and kind of prideful, right?

Anyways, this post is getting to be pretty long for a regular post, so here are my final key thoughts:

~Immodesty does eliminate your faith or spot in the race (1 Corinthians 9:24)
~Modesty is not only an outward quality but an inward one as well (Proverbs 11:12)
~Modesty on the inside is just as an important—actually even more—quality to have as a Christian (1 Peter 3:4)

Let me know your thoughts—what does modesty mean to you? Is it just as important to be modest on the inside? I’d love to hear your (respectful) thoughts in the comments below!

Thanks for reading and have a great week!
~Willow

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