“Love never fails. So if it fails, it was never love.” This phrase is often said in reference to 1 Corinthians 13:8.

The first time I heard this phrase I was like, “Oooh, that’s good!” But after some thinking, I said, “Hm. I don’t quite agree…”

Let me explain.

If love fails outwardly, that does not mean that it fails inwardly.

I’ve had relationships that have failed. It wasn’t because of an argument or disagreement—nothing was wrong. But we just went separate ways. But I still think of those people, wish them well, pray for them, and check in every now and then. That’s not to say that I didn’t truly love them when we were friends. I still love them as humans and I love what we used to have, but our relationship just wasn’t meant to continue.

Love can ‘fail’ for good reasons. Sometimes love means that you have to separate yourself from them for some reason, whether it’s for your good or for theirs.

The definition of ‘fail’ in this sense has to be very specific. Did a girl lie and say she loved her boyfriend? Sure, then her love would fail, I guess (if it was ever there). But he might have actually loved her and then realized that she was a toxic jerk.

Now, I don’t think that love in the sense of this verse is the love that the phrase is meaning.

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul is writing love about the love from God, the love that God gives us, the love that God has given us the chance to give to others.

This love is unconditional.

Unconditional means ‘not subject to any conditions.’ So if one is loving with conditions? Then it’s not real love, not the love being referenced in this verse.

So let’s look at what we’ve figured out:

1. The love being referenced in 1 Cor is different than the love in the phrase.
2. Worldly love is different than unconditional love.
3. The word ‘fail’ is purely subjective in this sense. It depends on the story, the love, the idea of ‘failure,’ and the people involved.
4. This phrase is a harsh judgement of every single incident where love didn’t continue in the way one imagined it would.
5. Love from God does not fail, so if it ‘fails’ then it likely wasn’t real godly love that is talked about in the Bible, especially in 1 Cor.

See what I’m saying?

So the phrase, ‘Love never fails. So if it fails, was never love’ isn’t really a phrase for every situation where someone gets hurt. It’s subjective.

I’m not sure if you were able to understand my all-over-the-place notes (I’ll admit, everything made more sense in my mind) but I hope this was relatively understandable and interesting! Just some random thoughts from a random girl.

Anyways, thanks for reading! Have a great day!
~Willow