When I was somewhere around six to eight, I remember going to a coffee shop down the road from our house in Virginia. It was me, my dad, and my little brother (who was around four-five at the time) and we often went to this coffee shop.

Now, I remember this experience very vividly, probably because it scarred me for life. (Dad, if you’re reading this…just know that it was all your fault.)

So, before I continue this story: when I was younger, I was a freakishly shy kid. Like, so shy that I would hide behind my parents when adults spoke to me, I would ask my mom to order for me, I only talked to people I knew. All that fun shy-girl stuff. And take note of what I said: my mom would order for me at restaurants (or anywhere where I needed to order).

Back to the story: my dad took my brother and I to a coffee shop and asked me, “Do you want a cookie?” I, of course, said “YES!” I mean, snickerdoodle cookie? Heck, yeah! Who would pass that up? (For some reason I was in a weird snickerdoodle cookie phase back then…)

Well, my dad said, “Okay. You need to ask for it.”

Oh. (Remember, my mom typically ordered for me all the time.)

Well that was disappointing. I tried to get him to ask for it for me. And I remember this part very vividly. We were at the counter, the checkout lady smiling down at us as we talked for a couple minutes right there.

“Dad, I’m shy! I don’t like talking to strangers. Can you ask?”

“Sorry, kid. I don’t like talking to strangers either, but you gotta do it at some point. Consider this good practice for when you’re older.”

“But I’ll do it when I’m older, I don’t want to do it now!”

“Willow, if you want a cookie, you have to ask for it.”

I turned to my little brother who is far from an introvert. He talked to strangers on a regular basis, this was his thing. I exclaimed, “HEY! You can ask for it!”

But Dad foiled my plans. “Nope. I know Boone will ask for it. You have to ask for it.”

Y’all. I hated talking to strangers. But I really wanted that snickerdoodle cookie. Who knew the next time I’d ever get a cookie?! It could be weeks, months, even years! I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

So finally, I faced my fears and asked the lady for the cookie. And then ran down to a couch to hide.

And let’s just say, I’ve been traumatized ever since that day. I’m just kidding, now I go into stores alone and buy things by myself, my mom no longer orders for me at restaurants, and I talk to strangers. (But only if absolutely necessary, mind you.)

But was the cookie worth it? Yes. (It was really big.) The quick moment of “Can I have a snickerdoodle cookie please?” was nothing compared to how amazing that cookie was in my six-year old mind.

A lot of times we are struck with the “I want _____ but have to do _____” experiences. We have to ask ourselves, “Is this cookie worth talking to a stranger?”

Of course, it’ll be bigger things.

Is this relationship worth the pain? Or should I cut all ties?

Is this one-time ______ worth possibly getting addicted?

Is this delicious food worth feeling horrible later?

And this brings me to my next point: more often than not, we need to do the hard things to get the good things.

Your hard thing might be moving on from a relationship. Maybe it’s saying no to something your peers are doing. Maybe it’s knowing what will be best for your health.

Maybe it’s more emotional stuff. Maybe you need to face your fears. Maybe you need to reach out to someone—or be a little bit less shy. Maybe you need to confront yourself about something going on in your life.

These things might seem daunting at first. And honestly, it’s not going to be easy. But will it be worth it? Yeah, it really will.

And before you assume I’m saying, “GO DO SOMETHING YOU’RE SCARED TO DO!”, let me say this: talk to someone about it who could provide insight on it. A friend, adult, parent, pastor, small group leader, teacher. When you are personally experiencing all these things, you obviously have a more biased opinion and don’t see the big picture due to your emotional partiality. Somebody else will provide a) fresh, new insight, b) better tell you what might work versus letting you resort to your first, rash option, and c) help you talk out what you need or want to do.

The cookie is worth it in the end. (:

Thanks for reading!
~Willow