In the Bible there’s multiple verses about selfishness being a quality that will slowly drag you down. But one thing that often happens with these verses is that we confuse ‘selfish‘ with ‘self-love.’

Now, there’s a fine line between the two of these. Self-love means to care for or appreciate yourself or your well-being. Selfishness is almost an obsession with your own well-being or choices, typically at the expense of others’ well-being.

I’ve had a couple friends who have said, “I’m learning how to love myself without being selfish.” And this is a good thing to learn. It’s hard to treat yourself well without thinking as if you are being selfish.

The opposite of self-love (low self-esteem might be a good word) is a really difficult thing to feel—you feel unworthy, as if everyone is better, and as if you are undeserving of love, even from yourself. It’s not a fun experience.

Now, loving others is a commandment that Jesus told us to keep—Matthew 22:36-40 says that all the Law and Prophets (aka, Scripture) hangs onto these two commandments: love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself.

Well, I want to make this clear: being a Christian does not mean that you can’t love yourself. It, in fact, means the opposite. It means that you can learn to love yourself because of Christ’s sacrifice for you—Jesus said, “You are worth it, you are the one I am doing this for, you are the one I love. I want you to love yourself.”

Loving yourself is not a sin. But prioritizing yourself over others isn’t what God told us to do—it goes against the commandment love your neighbor as yourself. You can’t love your neighbor as yourself if you prioritize yourself.

This leads to self-love. I think these days it’s often used as an excuse to say, “I am going to do whatever I want because it’s self-love.”

So what is a good example of self-love without turning it into selfishness?

Well, first, taking care of yourself:

1. Exercise. (I can’t say this for myself but) it’s a great way for you to keep your body healthy, enjoy yourself, and stay strong (and possibly even get jacked if you’re consistent).
2. Eating healthy food. This speaks for itself, y’all.
3. Getting good sleep. Y’all! I love sleep! If I don’t sleep good, then watch out, because I turn into the giant snow monster dude from Frozen—before he became nice.
4. Treating yourself. You don’t have to be all strict and boot-camp-like on yourself! Self-love also means love, not just healthy. And treating yourself isn’t a ‘food only’ thing, it also includes people and fun activities and something you enjoy! Go shopping, go to a movie, eat ice cream, have a friend over!
5. Be with people. Self-love does not mean by-yourself-love. Talking to a friend, hanging out, texting even, can be a great way for you to remove some burdens from your shoulders or to reshape your focus from yourself to others if needed.

These are just a few examples of self-love. I’d love to hear some ways that you take the time to love yourself.

So in conclusion, self-love is not bad. (Only to the extent where it becomes all you think about and that’s when it becomes selfishness.)

I hope this helped you better understand the difference between self-love and selfishness! Have a great day. :)
~Willow

P.S. Be on the lookout for an exciting author interview next week! I’m not going to say who it is, but I will say that it is a very important interview to me and I hope that it’s moving for you all. :) (And if you’re a YDubber who may know, don’t say who it is!)