(Before you read: I’m not in a relationship, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt, but I’ve learned this stuff from books, podcasts, Bible plans, pastors, and friends, so I’m basically an expert. Just kidding, just kidding! 😅)

I have a couple of friends who have boyfriends, and both couples are Christians. One of my friends, she and her boyfriend go to separate churches while the other girl met her boyfriend at the same church. I admire both of their relationships in the sense that they keep Jesus the main thing. And I feel like that can be hard in regular relationships, not just dating.

There are a lot of pastors and devotionals and books and more things that talk about dating or marriage as a Christian and I’ve learned a lot (even though I’m not dating anyone) that I found super helpful for all my relationships.

I also recommend checking out BINØ’s post about becoming a young man and relationships. He also has another very important post for boys and girls about dating and relationships. Check that out here!

Now, any relationship relies on a firm foundation (aka, God. Read Isaiah 33:6), and whether or not your relationship with others is a Christian relationship, these are all applicable to all relationships.

Honor Their Boundaries

I feel like this one speaks for itself. Whether you are dating someone or just friends, whether they are a Christian or not, whether you’ve known them since you were little kids or you met a couple weeks ago, this one is so important for all relationships!

Of course, while it’s good that you respect their boundaries, they also need to respect your boundaries. And you both should have your own boundaries. This could be your physical relationship, what you talk about, how you speak (profanity specifically), who you hang out with, and more. Boundaries are what keep your relationship safe and healthy.

Maintain a Relationship with Christ

Your relationships—Christian or otherwise—depend on your relationship with Christ. If your relationship with Jesus is failing, your other relationships—romantic and platonic—will fail as well. It might not be as clear, but that’s why you need to check up on your connection with God frequently to make sure that you’re not straying from His commands and love.

Don’t Abandon Your Other People!

Your friends and family will (hopefully) be happy for you when you find a guy or girl to date, but not if you abandon them for your partner! Not only will it hurt them, but you will prioritize the romantic relationship over what everything else, including guidance and counseling about romantic relationships from people who know you, your story, have their own firsthand experience in dating, and how to navigate dating.

People who are great for this kind of stuff are pastors, small group leaders, counselors, parents, and older siblings or older friends. And, always seek wisdom from Scripture.

Don’t Forget God’s Goodness

Don’t take this relationship for granted. God gave it to you for a reason.

God gives us people for two reasons: you learn a lesson, and/or they are for you.
I’ve had a lot of friendships that I learned a lot from such as how to be a good friend, what makes a bad or toxic friend, how to stay true to people and my faith, and more.

This relationship will do the same thing for you. If they aren’t “the one”, then you’ll learn from that experience. If they are “the one”, then, again, you’ll learn from that experience and gain joy and love from that relationship.

Everything happens for a reason. Always tell your partner that you are blessed to have them (if you aren’t blessed, to have them, then I guess don’t tell them that…because that’d be lying).

Support Each Other in Your Walk of Faith

This is similar to maintaining a relationship with Christ. You and your partner’s relationship will thrive and grow if you spend time together with Christ, reading God’s word, and worshipping together.

Support Them in Both Trial and Success

God made Eve for Adam because Adam was alone, and that’s not what God wants us to be: alone. We are made to celebrate, mourn, praise, pray, and be together! We were made to be with others in both their trials and their success.

Pray

Again, this is similar to two previous ones, but this one is a teeny bit different.

First of all, pray for them. First, before you start dating, pray for them and you as you move into a relationship. Then, pray for them during your relationship. And third, (if your relationship doesn’t work out) pray for them after your relationship is ended. Whether you guys are still friends or not, it’s always a healing move to pray for them. Jesus prayed for his followers even after Judas betrayed him. You can do the same.

Second of all, pray with them. Again, it will strengthen your relationship together and you two’s relationship with Christ.

Welp. I hope this wasn’t too weird of a post considering that I’m a single pringle! But again, this can be used in romantic and platonic relationships. 🙃

“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard in the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.”
2 John 1:6 NIV

Have a great day and thanks for reading!
~Willow <3