“We’re gonna try something new today,” announced the youth pastor, David. We were on the Discipleship Retreat. It was November third. We were all seated in a large, cozy cabin, all forty of us teens.

“We’re going to do something called ‘Silence and Solitude.’” He paused before he continued speaking, rubbing his beard with one hand. “We’re going to spread out, you can go outside, in here, in your personal cabins, wherever. We’ll spend thirty minutes in silence. Don’t hang out with your friends, get on your phone. Try to be by yourself. It might seem awkward or weird at first, but just try it. Try not to even listen to music. This is time with you and God. Read your Bible, journal, pray, worship, just sit there, do whatever connects you to Him.” So we spread out. Some of my friends lay on their beds in our personal cabin, but I walked outside.

The retreat was at a camp by the water. It was chilly, but I only needed a sweatshirt. I strode down the grass onto the beach. The sand was cold to touch, and the water was even colder. The air was crisp and slightly breezy. I tied my hair back in a messy bun and found a place to sit where there were rocks.

I took a seat. I faced the water, crossing my legs, and looked out at the ocean. Waves lapped at the edge of the sand, but it didn’t come near me. Salty smells with a hint of fresh evergreen trees. Perfect. The sun was shining through a thin layer of fog. It shone through, creating rays that showed God’s presence.

My Bible was next to me, along with my notebook, but I didn’t bother opening it. I just enjoyed the nature and fresh air and silence. I closed my eyes. God, I said, speak to me, please. I’m listening. I’ve been waiting to hear you these past few days. Thank you for the chance to come here, and for helping me adapt to my new church and friends. They’ve been amazing and so encouraging. But right now, I need to hear You. Please.

I waited, my eyes still closed. Uncrossing my legs, I reached down and picked up a pebble and tossed it into the water, only a few feet away. It landed with a splash! and I continued throwing them in the water.

Finally, after a few minutes of waiting, I stood up, brushed off my pants, and walked along the side of the water. It was beautiful here. I hadn’t quite heard God’s voice yet, but I knew He was there. I just knew it. I stopped at a long log and sat on it. There, I felt Him. His presence was so strong, and I couldn’t. stop. crying.

I wasn’t sad. I mean, I was, but that wasn’t why I was crying. I was crying because I was overwhelmed. Suddenly realizing how I’ve been blessed, what He’s done for me, how I’ve heard Him speak through His word, my friends, my pastor, my family, music, nature, and silence.

I started praying. I don’t remember what I said. All I remember is the essence of God and the peace I felt while sitting there. He was there. That part was insane to me. God is here. With all of us. Those people over there, worshiping, praying, reading, journaling, crying, He was there.

After the thirty minutes were up, I was disappointed. That moment was so perfect, I didn’t want to lose it. But I didn’t. After the retreat, at home, I continued doing Silence and Solitude. Some moments were stronger than others, more emotional than others, but I knew He was there. No matter if you take time to do Silence and Solitude every day or once a year, He always will be.

~Willow